"Fortunately." That's the word Donald Trump chose, under oath, when asked about the Access Hollywood tape — the one where he bragged that when you're a star, women "let you do it." Pressed in deposition, he doubled down: "Well, historically, that's true with stars. If...
"You don't eat soup in public. You don't drink from a straw. You don't cross your legs." These are, per Fox host Jesse Watters, the rules a man must follow to prove he's a man. He once shamed Democratic VP candidate Tim Walz for waving with two hands: "We wave with...
It's the night of my younger son's wedding. Ceremony over, knot tied, glass stomped, hors d'oeuvres served. We are now in the reception hall, seated at long banquet-style tables. Across from me sits a woman I'll call Robin, my son's best friend's mother, whom I find...
When I wrote an essay on toxic masculinity for a psychoanalytic magazine, the editor came back with a reasonable query: "You've nailed toxic masculinity. But could you define masculinity?" I had the pathological version down cold — swagger, domination, pretending to...
At eleven years old, standing outside a Baltimore 7-Eleven, Ta-Nehisi Coates learned how expendable life can be. Another boy pulled out a gun and gave every indication he meant to use it. "I saw a surging rage that could, in an instant, erase my body," he writes. The...
When my father gave me my first driving lesson, he had me sit behind the wheel — the place he had always occupied. It felt strange to be sitting in his seat; I remember getting an erection. I had my Bar Mitzvah at thirteen, but driving felt like the real deal: This is...
The idea of writing this blog began when a psychiatric journal decided to launch a series of blogs to expand its readership. I proposed one titled Masculinity — A Work in Progress and submitted a sample post on male grievance that included the phrase "male pride." It...
Being male isn’t going so well. Not the way it had in the past. Men are falling behind big time. By a large margin, fewer men than women are graduating college. In the meantime, job prospects for those with only a high school diploma are plummeting. Many men are...